I don't know how to write about war

I don’t know how to write about war or climate change or what it feels like to be a 47 year old woman weighed down with awareness but I do know how to smear paint and tear paper

I know how to drag my pen and fingernails across a pretty painting

I know how to cut it all up and then stitch it back together

I know how to show up for my pain and turn it into art

I know how to find freedom for a little while

I know how long it's taken me to get here